A NEW SEASON, A NEW BEGINNING (DEALING WITH BACKSLIDING)

Hi everyone, I am honestly very excited to be doing this and what’s more exciting is, all the obstacles I had to get through to be here and it is my prayer that you find Faith, Strength and Hope here.

It feels so weird that I’m being prompted to talk about “New Season-New Beginning” specifically because literally everyone talks about it at this time of the year (beginning of the year).

But yes! A new season in one’s life is a new phase to build oneself, I would say a new season is a transitionary phase, and generally transitions are often hard to handle. People would say new seasons come with new challenges. However, this is totally not the case for Christians because we have God on our side. We have this assurance because He promises to hold our hands and walk with us every step of the way.

This is not me trying to be all spiritual or something, but this is what the scripture says;

‘For the mountains may move and the hills disappear but even then, my FAITHFUL LOVE FOR YOU will REMAIN. MY COVENANT OF BLESSINGS will NEVER be broken,’ says the LORD, who has mercy on you. (Isaiah 54:10)

I have called you back from the ends of the earth, saying, ‘You are my servant.’ FOR I HAVE CHOSEN YOU AND WILL NOT THROW YOU AWAY.

Don’t be afraid, for I AM WITH YOU. Don’t be discouraged, for I AM YOUR GOD. I WILL STRENGTHEN YOU AND HELP YOU. I WILL UPHOLD YOU UP WITH MY VICTORIOUS RIGHT HAND. (Isaiah 41:9-10).

King David said in Psalms 32:8-9 ‘I hear the Lord saying, ‘I WILL STAY CLOSE TO YOU, INSTRUCTING AND GUIDING YOU ALONG THE PATHWAY FOR YOUR LIFE, I WILL ADVISE YOU ALONG THE WAY AND LEAD YOU FORTH WITH MY EYES AS YOUR GUIDE.

I’d say the first time I intentionally opened up my heart to serve God was in 2020 at the onset of the global pandemic. I mean, it was lockdown so yeah! I had time to just worship and serve Him willingly and not out of compulsion. Yes! I had a good relationship with Abba, I grew spiritually (I was so proud of myself), I could pray in tongues for a long time in a day, I had time for my sisterhood, my relationship with my mum. I had exams and in that period I freaked out a bit because I was scared (I always get scared when it’s that period in the semester). I was more intentional about stuffs, and I’d say 2020 was a year for me because in that same year I battled depression (lol) and I don’t say that lightly, because I recently realized people do not know what depression really is and they just use the word ‘DEPRESSION’ when they feel sad. It was so bad that the Lockdown School’s project I had to do was about depression because it wasn’t easy, to be fair.

Backsliding for me, was a 100 steps backwards in my growth (spiritually and emotionally). Frankly speaking, I was a wreck in 2021; I literally went from 100-0 in my faith. I devoted my time to other things; I had a boyfriend at the time (my first ever relationship), so I sort of gave my all to the relationship. I was naive and so scared of losing this person and it was so bad considering how much I love. I allowed everything else suffer (in the sense that I was unable to balance things) I threw my WHYS away, I did things I never thought I’d do, I let my spiritual life suffer; but in all of these, Abba was still there, I just wasn’t receptive. Funny how Abba still gave me a word ‘TRUST THE PROCESS’ (even when we were not “guys”) and at the time everything was happening (everything was going wrong). I was just so confused and didn’t know how best to handle things, so I kept on running back to the person I was dating at the time. I left school because I needed time away. It literally felt like I was dying. At the time, all this person’s opinion seemed right in my eyes because I felt “oh yes, he loves me, and I love him so he’s making sense” (lol).

So why am I saying all this? I’m saying this to say God doesn’t hate you for backsliding, I’m saying this because there are people who say I AM TOO FAR GONE, nooooooooooooo you are not too far gone because it is God’s desire that everyone is brought into the Kingdom.

We tend to have moments where we live our way instead of Christ’s way but you know what’s good? The fact that we realize that we are going the wrong way, the fact that God places people along the way who make us realize that we are going the wrong way, that fact that we have ABBA as our Good Father, our Advocate. He is always there and like the Scriptures you read earlier stated that “HE IS NOT GONNA THROW YOU AWAY”.

Abba loves you and He is yearning for you, for a relationship with you. I am not saying it is good to INTENTIONALLY go back to sin. Do not run from God because it is so beautiful to serve the Lord.

If you are struggling in your walk with Abba, just genuinely cry out to Him for help. Yes! It is not so easy to heal or to stop feeling dirty especially when you already think you are too far gone. You often wonder, ‘How do you find the strength to be honest and transparent about where I have been? What do I say to God?’ You honestly don’t need to have a script before you go to Him. He wants you the way you are. He sees your heart, so just let Him do His thing.

I have been so scared of failing God and everyone, but I’ve just said to myself that I am honestly going to allow Him do His thing, I’m going to be more intentional about my growth and studying because honestly The Word is a light on my path (Psalm 91:11, Your Word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path).

In this season I’ve just decided to honestly just trust Him (Proverbs 3:5-6, Trust in the Lord completely, and do not rely on your own opinions. With all your heart rely on him to guide you, and He will lead you in every decision you make. Become intimate with Him in whatever you do, and he will lead you wherever you go.)

In this season I’d live in Christ to the fullest and I ready to do just that, ready to put in the work. I see this season as an opportunity to grow because when Abba takes us through a season, it is always with the purpose of greater productivity.

My prayers in recent time is for the Grace to say YES to Him at all time (even when I think it is not making sense). I pray for the Grace to follow my spiritual senses and not live by the flesh (1Cor. 9:25-27, A true athlete will be disciplined in every respect, practicing constant self-control in order to win a laurel wreath that quickly withers. But we run our race to win a victor’s crown that will last forever. For that reason, I don’t run just for exercise or box like one throwing aimless punches, but I train like a champion athlete. I subdue my body and get it under my control, so that after preaching the good news to others I myself won’t be disqualified.)