LIFE UPDATE|ADULTING EPISODE 02

 

Can we address this once and for all? Can we talk about that phase in life after school when you feel lost with no clear sense of direction? It's something no one really prepares you for. First of all, Happy New Year, guys! I know it may seem as though I disappeared, and I apologize for that. I feel like I've lost a little touch with my writing ability, but I won't give up because I love writing!

In my last blog post, I shared an update on my life, detailing my experiences in Portharcourt. Well, I have some news to share—I've actually left Portharcourt. There were several reasons behind this decision, and I'll share a few of them with you. Growing up, I harbored a desire to pursue law, but my parents and my elder sister felt that my reserved nature hindered my ability to communicate effectively with others (a struggle I still contend with due to anxiety), I wasn't thrilled about it, but along the way, I fell in love with the media and gradually developed a passion for the media and TV presenting (though I still question my confidence in Tv presenting). However, during my time in Portharcourt, I realized that the opportunities I sought weren't quite there and not readily available. I was interning as a marketer, and while I enjoyed the company of my colleagues who were supportive, I realized that marketing wasn't the right fit for me. I think I can make do with marketing digitally, and this is evidenced by my contributions in targeting the digital aspect during sales meetings. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my office, the space, the people and how much certain people looked out for me but the pressures and expectations just didn't align with me at the time. For me, the media space is a domain where I believe I can fully embrace my purpose, shine brightly. Although, there are moments where I struggle with feelings of inadequacy, lack of confidence, belief, and boldness which hinders me from fully expressing these potentials.

 I was incredibly unhappy. My dayssss! I held onto hope that I would eventually adapt, but the weight of the pressure became too much to bear. It's an experience I never wish to become accustomed to. It seemed as though everyone around me noticed my struggle, and I am sincerely grateful for those who took the time to encourage me because they believed in my capabilities, even when I didn't believe in myself. Throughout my time there, I constantly felt like I was underperforming and falling short of expectations. I had never felt so adrift, unhappy and discontented in my entire life. And let's not even get started on the challenges with the opposite gender and their misguided perspectives on sales. However, amidst the internal battle, I found solace and purpose in assisting the operations team. It brought me genuine happiness and a feeling of making a meaningful contribution.

Guysssss, Is it just me or there’s an unspoken pressure from family sometimes? Well, I don’t completely blame our parents because I don’t think they know how much these affects the child, but it’s just that thing where they know Nigeria has failed us, our government has failed its citizens, and that we’re in a country where nothing works (Everything works in Jesus name)so they are trying their best to give us a life that is so much secure (It is well).

There's so much to express, but from everything you've read, I'm in the process of navigating life and reconnecting with myself. I'm a human being who's deeply confused and uncertain about the next steps to take. At times, I find myself feeling indecisive, while at other times, I struggle to make decisions for myself. Frequently, I forget that I lack inherent strength, and although words may sometimes fail me when I attempt to pray, I still earnestly rely on God, as our existence is sustained by His strength and wisdom.

I am a continual work in progress, committed to persisting and advocating for myself. With the assistance of God, I will strive to make the right choices. I'm open to exploring new avenues beyond my comfort zone, willing to embrace opportunities that come my way. Recognizing my tendency to be timid and shy away from opportunities, I acknowledge the need to step out of my comfort zone. Therefore, I resolve to take risks, determined to overcome my shyness and not give up on myself. Each day, I aspire to take small steps aligned with my aspirations.

 

Baby steps..

                                                             

I'll conclude here, having shared many thoughts. However, if there's one thing I hope you glean from this message, it's the understanding of your inherent worth. Remember to approach life one step at a time and to extract lessons from every experience.

 

PS: While writing this blog post, I started to worry about oversharing. However, I reminded myself of my commitment to authenticity and honesty. With God's help, I'll stick to what I've talked about in the introduction and deliver on the promises outlined within this blog.

You know by now that I'd always share a scripture, so enjoy!!

I hear the Lord saying, “I will stay close to you, instructing and guiding you along the pathway for your life. I will advise you along the way and lead you forth with my eyes as your guide. So don’t make it difficult; don’t be stubborn when I take you where you’ve not been before. Don’t make me tug you and pull you along. Just come with me!”

Psalms 32:8-9 TPT

 Song for the week

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